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8 Mistakes Moms Make That Sabotage Their Self Care

Question: How can I be the best mom I can be?

Answer: You must take care of yourself!

Why? Because it is super frustrating trying to pour from an empty cup.

When you care for yourself, you are purposefully filling your cup, so that your family gets the best version of you!

Over the last decade of being a mom, I have observed moms, including myself, completely neglect their own self-care. So, here’s 7 Mistakes Moms Make That Sabotage Their Own Self Care.

1. Comparing Yourself to Other Moms

We've all done it at one point or another, but the seriousness of comparing is often majorly downplayed. The Bible even says that to compare yourself to another is unwise. When you look at another mom and think, “Wow, she’s got it all together! She works out, her kids are well behaved, her house is spotless, etc.” - that devalues the greatness God has placed in you. Comparing yourself to another mom mentally holds you captive from being the best you, you can be because you are preoccupied with keeping up with another mom – which by the way isn’t perfect either. Save yourself much heartache and stay clear of comparison. And I'll let you in on a secret - we're all a hot mess, some just hide if better than others. Lol

2. Neglecting to Schedule Self Care

I know scheduling self-care may sound unnecessary, but as a mom of three creative, high-energy daughters, it is totally necessary for me to do. If you see that you are always on the go and super busy, then putting you on your agenda may be the only way to accomplish taking care of yourself in this season of motherhood.

3. Being Too Controlling

If you're a control freak kind of momma, then you are sabotaging your own self-care in a major way. You can’t control everything beloved and children undoubtedly come with high level of surprise and uncertainty. If you find yourself always needing things to go “perfectly”, you're setting yourself up for failure, disappointment and ultimately bitterness. You can’t plan for everything and trying to will only stress you out and drain you mentally! Practice going with the flow and pursuing peace in the center of whatever is happening.

4. Not Shopping for Yourself

I'm so guilty of this! Come on ladies we've all been there! You’re in Target with a cart full of stuff and just before checking out your eye catches the one item you picked up for yourself. Naturally, you pick it up, look at the price tag and then politely hand it to the cashier because your mommy brain tells you that the money could go towards something more important. Well. You are IMPORTANT! As a matter of fact, God says that you are the apple of His eye and, He does not want you to neglect yourself. You are valuable and yes - you matter! So, the next time you’re faced with the decision to put back things - don't! You deserve it, momma!

5. Declining Outings with Girlfriends

This is so sad but very true. Countless times, I've declined outings with my girlfriends simply because I felt I'd be neglecting the kids. But, that is the furthest thing from the truth. Moms need a little kid-free time with cherished friends to relax and unwind. It's healthy, wise and good for the kids to see their mommy living a well-balanced life. So, push aside the mommy guilt and call a friend for a girl’s day out!

6. Not having enough time with God

This is the BIG one! Moms must stay connected to the vine (God) to thrive and manage it all. Spending quality time in God’s presence is the most important way moms can refill and genuinely care for themselves. Time in prayer, worship and meditating on scripture is priceless and opens the door for God to move on your behalf in incredible ways. Carving out time to be with God can sometimes seem impossible with little ones pulling you in all directions, but don’t underestimate 5 intentional minutes at the start of your day with a devotional and prayer

7. All work and no play

Many days of motherhood are filled with dishes, diapers, dusting, training, teaching, nuturing and constant discipline, but we must fit in a little time for play too. Putting work and school to the side for a while to go out and play is an essential part of self-care; for you and your family too. So, be sure to schedule quality play time; even if it's kicking the ball around outside with the kids for a half hour, that can reset and refresh the day for everyone.

8. Neglecting Your interests

Do you remember all the things you use to love doing?

It can sometimes seem like your God-given desires and interests have gotten buried in the hustle and bustle of being a mom. But, you must be persistent about getting back to your interests. It might be once a day, once a week or once every 6 months depending on how old your children are and how much support you get from your family. The most important thing is that you make an effort to do those things. And don’t get discouraged if you are not able to do the things you love as often as you’d like because seasons of motherhood change quickly. In the meantime, continue prioritizing yourself care as best you can with God’s help and count your many blessings.

Practice going with the flow and pursuing peace in the center of whatever is happening.

Being a mom is one of the most awesome opportunities a woman has, but it's also very draining at times. Between colic babies, nursing problems, toddlers who refuse to sleep in their own beds, preschoolers that insist on drawing on the walls, opinionated 4th graders, preteen sass, teenage drama and young adult issues; it’s easy to lose yourself in it all! That is why you've got to make self-care non-negotiable so that you can thrive as the great mom God has called you to be. I want to hear from you because your story matters. What are some ways that you've found yourself sabotaging your self-care?